Marriage and other random pondering…

Earlier this week I tuned in to listen to Amanda Foy’s ‘The Goddess Imperative”  program on Blog Talk Radio where she and Juli Dubois where discussing the sexuality continuum from monogamy, to the desire to have multiple partners, and kind of everything in between. The main crux was that we all have a different spot on the radar, and it’s okay, as long as we communicate it with our partners, that it’s important to be our true self, and it’s not okay with the other party, that’s okay, and well, we can move on.

I’m not so sure about that. It got me to thinking about where I stand on the subject.

I guess I would call myself a serial monogamist!! When I was younger I had the biggest crushes, for months even years!!! Soul-deep. But my heart always belonged to one. At a time.

So what is it about marriage. How can we have a marriage if we are in the ‘anything goes’ variety of relationship. What’s the point? Is there a point? I guess at my core I believe in go forth and mulitply and the ideal place for this to happen is in a marriage. Not the only way. But the ideal way.

Now before you start ranting, please be assured that this blog is not taking a moral stance, it’s just where I stand personally. I’m not pushing anything on anyone else, and hope you won’t do that to me in this forum either.

Back to marriage. I am the first to admit I have an unhealthy view of marriage. There is a lot of inner conflict about it. At one level I am quite cynical about it, and find wedding photos of newly weds a little sickening really. At the other end of the scale, I attach self-worth to marriage. I want to be married. I feel better about me being married. This is a belief I have held for a while that needs letting go, I know it’s twisted. But it is how I feel if I am honest with myself.

I often wonder why gay couples even want to marry. Don’t they see that the marriage institution is a shambles? That few survive? Why would they want part of that. I guess it’s about worth. Self worth. Human rights too. Do they really want to be married? Or do they want to be recognised. What is that about?  I know that they say they should be able to spend the life with a loved one, we all want that. But. Gee. Marriage is bloody hard, it’s certainly no walk in the park!!

This leads me to ponder where all of this ‘happy ever after’ stuff came from anyway. I could count healthy marriages I know on one hand! If the law of attraction is as simple as some say…..wouldn’t we be all married to our ‘Prince/Princess Charming’? If we grow up thinking that we are going to find the love of our life, get married, and everything else will be hunky dory, wouldn’t we all have that? I would be interested in what the LOA’ers have to say about that. Just asking.

Oh yeah. And while I’m at it, what is it that makes us love the people that are wrong for us and hate those that are right for us! I have loved some dorks in my time. Like, why am I drawn towards Sheldon (I want to pinch his cheeks, and do illogical things to him), House (something about his disconnectedness and arrogance that is strangely appealing), Detective Elliot Stabler from Law & Order SVU (Broody and unavailable). And then, some of the guys that have loved me, but I have rejected have been bloody good catches!  Human beings are so stupid sometimes!

Anyway. I’ve blogged this because it’s been on my heart. I hope I don’t cause too much offence. It’s just my thoughts and feelings, that’s all.

Blessings to you…

Krishna